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Enter Bipolar Memes: Re!

This is too funny. We have to enjoy the humour/randomness involved with bipolar

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Posted by on August 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Sail – Awolnation

Sail
This is how I show my love
I made it in my mind because
Blame it on my A-D-D baby

This is how an angel dies
Blame it on my own sick pride
Blame it on my A-D-D baby

Sail, sail
Sail, sail, sail

Maybe I should cry for help
Maybe I should kill myself (myself)
Blame it on my A-D-D baby

Maybe I’m a different breed
Maybe I’m not listening
So blame it on my A-D-D baby

Sail, sail
Sail, sail, sail

La la la la la la, la la la la la la
la la la la la la, la la la la la la

Sail, sail,
Sail, sail,
Sail, sail,
Sail, sail, sail

This song has the coolest beat. Lyrics are depressing,  but kind of relevant.

 
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Posted by on August 18, 2013 in Bipolar, Music, Random

 

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Breaking Up

…it sucks.
Like mega mega sucks.
I knew me and S were fairly incompatible from the beginning. That didnt stop us from really,  really falling for each other. I have had it bad.

Ah. Whatever. I’m fucking heart broken.

It’s been coming for about 4 weeks now so it’s not a complete shocker. But still.
It is related to my bi polar.  I haven’t been stable therefore my dealings with him have been awful leading to an extremely unstable,  complicated relationship.
It’s not all me. This man has some serious issues in his own way. I loved him regardless. It’s just that I really messed up in a complicated way and now I’ve got to face the consequences.

Okay this post is not making any sense but not a whole lot is making sense in my life right now. Hence my decision to get myself booked into hospital/clinic/rehab/crazy person place this week.  Once I’ve had a chat with my doctor ofcourse.
I could just be being dramatic.

I dont know?

Guess I’m breaking up in more than just one way.

 
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Posted by on August 17, 2013 in Bipolar, Relationships

 

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Motivation and Medication

Motivation…I have none of.

Medication…plenty.

Being on Abilify has so far not done very much for me. Granted it’s only been a few days but still, I want to see results dammit! I still feel kind of depressed and sluggish and swing between despair to excitement within minutes of each other. Really weird. I was hoping by now I would be all better and ready to tackle the world-

however

I have none of that stuff that makes you want to do stuff. You know? I have just written a therapeutic psychology test which I definitely didn’t study hard enough for BECAUSE I JUST CAN’T CONCENTRATE and I guess another part is that I don’t feel motivated right now to just want to do it. Like I said in my previous post, this is bad because my degree is just so close. A few months away. All I have to do is work super hard and I can graduate with some really good marks and be well on my way into an honour’s programme. But how can I do this all when all I really want to do is sleep, talk to my on/off boyfriend and drink coffee. I look at my textbooks and just feel…blah…instead of the excitement and hopefulness I used to feel. So maybe it’s a bit of burnout? I have been at this full time non stop studying thing for 3 years now. So surely being a bit tired and unmotivated-ish is unavoidable really?

But then why is everyone else around me doing so well and I’m stuck on a swing.

Back and forth between happy and sad.

Excited and hopeless.

Back and forth between nothing and everything.

 

So how long til that Abilify kicks in?

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2013 in Bipolar, Medication

 

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Back to Blogging

Hi everyone!
I’m back. Took long enough.  Guess I just needed a break. I kept up with all ya’ll blogs now and it’s great to see so many sticking it out and trying their best at being healthy.

That’s what I’ve been doing but not always with success.
My epilepsy is well under control. I am happy about that 🙂

My bipolar is not entirely unstable but not great either. For some stupid reason I went off my zyprexa and experienced my first hypomanic state which is pretty interesting. I could do so much and function so well but then I became so irritable…and angry. I lashed out at everyone and stopped being able to concentrate which is terrible when you’re in you final semester of your final year of your BA degree!

I swung abit towards depression then too…and spent days in bed. Which is extremely unlike me

I knew something was up but didn’t really realize it until things got really bad with my boyfriend. So a few days ago I saw my doc and he has now put me on 5mg of Abilify which has so far made me restless/lethargic/hyperactive.
Weird hey?

So if any of ya’ll have some experience with Abilify please let me know your stories. Cause I’m finding this med incredibly strange right now.

Other than this short blog I dont have much to say. Again.

But my ramblings will come soon.

Take care everyone xxx

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2013 in Bipolar, Epilepsy, Medication

 

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Why why why

Why is there such a stigma attached to mental illness?

We are in the year 2013, having experienced great leaps of science, medicine and understanding of the human psyche.

Then why, when it comes up and tell someone you actually live with a mental disorder, do they gave you that look and say “ohhhh.”

I’ve been asked a lot of questions when it comes to my bi-polar. Alot of them have to do with my daughter (eg: is she going to have it when she’s older?) and a lot of it is just general misinformed rubbish. I think it’s cause I’m so young. Because no, mental disorders are for older people, with more life experience and more time to go crazy. I can’t possibly be bipolar…I’m too young…the doctor just probably loves dishing out diagnosis and putting you on a bunch of pills.

I’ve met a lot of judgmental idiots. But I’ve also met a lot of caring, understanding and supportive people – yet usually these are the ones who have a disorder themselves, or have a close family member who does. They read my blog and think it’s good (which I’m so grateful for!) and most importantly…they are educated.

It seems like there is not enough literature in the world to educate people and get rid of the stigma attached to mental illness. It’s a societal thing. Engraved in the minds of many, many people who see mental illness in the media as something completely and utterly tragic and something scary. The media, movies and television display mental illness in the most drastic way possible. We don’t all flip our tops and go on killing sprees or talk to the walls and become obsessed with lovers. No, some of us are just your average joe/jane really just trying to make it through life with something real and hard. We just have an extra bag or load to carry with us. But we are not freaks or weirdo’s or “insane.”

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2013 in Bipolar, Random

 

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The Bitch is back

I love this song! Cheeky, fun and funny. Let’s all aspire to be bitches and take on the world.
And by bitch I mean Babe In Total Control of Herself (Thanks Sherry Argov!)
The Bitch is Back — Elton John
I was justified when I was five
Raising cane, I spit in your eye
Times are changing, now the poor get fat
But the fever’s gonna catch you when the bitch gets back

Eat meat on Friday that’s alright
Even like steak on a Saturday night
I can bitch the best at your social do’s
I get high in the evening sniffing pots of glue

I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch
Oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch
`Cause I’m better than you
It’s the way that I move
The things that I do

I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul by dropping names
I don’t like those, my God, what’s that
Oh it’s full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back

 

 

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2013 in Music, Random

 

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