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Why why why

Why is there such a stigma attached to mental illness?

We are in the year 2013, having experienced great leaps of science, medicine and understanding of the human psyche.

Then why, when it comes up and tell someone you actually live with a mental disorder, do they gave you that look and say “ohhhh.”

I’ve been asked a lot of questions when it comes to my bi-polar. Alot of them have to do with my daughter (eg: is she going to have it when she’s older?) and a lot of it is just general misinformed rubbish. I think it’s cause I’m so young. Because no, mental disorders are for older people, with more life experience and more time to go crazy. I can’t possibly be bipolar…I’m too young…the doctor just probably loves dishing out diagnosis and putting you on a bunch of pills.

I’ve met a lot of judgmental idiots. But I’ve also met a lot of caring, understanding and supportive people – yet usually these are the ones who have a disorder themselves, or have a close family member who does. They read my blog and think it’s good (which I’m so grateful for!) and most importantly…they are educated.

It seems like there is not enough literature in the world to educate people and get rid of the stigma attached to mental illness. It’s a societal thing. Engraved in the minds of many, many people who see mental illness in the media as something completely and utterly tragic and something scary. The media, movies and television display mental illness in the most drastic way possible. We don’t all flip our tops and go on killing sprees or talk to the walls and become obsessed with lovers. No, some of us are just your average joe/jane really just trying to make it through life with something real and hard. We just have an extra bag or load to carry with us. But we are not freaks or weirdo’s or “insane.”

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2013 in Bipolar, Random

 

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The Bitch is back

I love this song! Cheeky, fun and funny. Let’s all aspire to be bitches and take on the world.
And by bitch I mean Babe In Total Control of Herself (Thanks Sherry Argov!)
The Bitch is Back — Elton John
I was justified when I was five
Raising cane, I spit in your eye
Times are changing, now the poor get fat
But the fever’s gonna catch you when the bitch gets back

Eat meat on Friday that’s alright
Even like steak on a Saturday night
I can bitch the best at your social do’s
I get high in the evening sniffing pots of glue

I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch
Oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch
`Cause I’m better than you
It’s the way that I move
The things that I do

I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul by dropping names
I don’t like those, my God, what’s that
Oh it’s full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back

 

 

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2013 in Music, Random

 

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Cup of Coffee

Every morning I sit and enjoy a nice strong cup of coffee and I sit and read through all the blogs that I follow. Though I don’t comment much I do enjoy all of your writing. You are all such interesting people! I often use this time to think and reflect a bit. I listen to some music and just sit and just be me. Lately I’ve been thinking of how far I’ve come since my world crumbled down last October. Oh, that dreadful few weeks where I just lost control completely. When I lost me completely.

And now look. I have never been so happy in my relationships with my family. I have this beautiful and wonderful man in my life. I am so excited about my future, I’m almost done with the first semester of my last year. I will have a BA degree in Psychology soon. Just on my way to getting my qualifications that are needed for me to call myself a Psychologist. I plan to branch off into the forensic field. I’ve already got my eye set on the place I want to work – IPS  and their forensic and investigative psychology unit.

Saturday night I went and saw Metallica live in concert with 3 of my brothers and S. It was amazing! We don’t often get such big acts here in South Africa, but when we do, it is awesome 🙂

I’ve also started saving for a trip I want to take at the end of the year with my boyfriend. Maybe to Thailand. Considering I have a small part time job and a student budget it”s going to be a bit tricky. I have this savings account that my grandmother set up for me to use to complete my studies. For the past 3 years I have gotten bursaries for getting my distinctions for different subjects. I’m going to use the money I have saved from these bursaries to contribute to my trip as a little graduation present. All that studying has BEEN SO WORTH IT!

Well I don’t have much to say really.

OH, I had a brief stay in hospital. But I’ll blog about that later when I have more time. It’s an interesting story.

But now I’m going to drink my coffee and carry on reading all your blogs 🙂

 

xxx

 
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Posted by on April 29, 2013 in Random, Relationships

 

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Suicide (READ ME!)

Suicide – Bobby Gaylor

 

Animals don’t have a choice.
If they’re not happy with their place in the world… too bad.
They have to live the life they’ve been given.
Humans, on the other hand, don’t have to.
We have a choice.
If you don’t like your place in the world, you can get off anytime you want.
Suicide. That’s right.
You don’t like the way your life’s going,
you don’t like the way you are in the world,
anything around you, you can check out anytime you like.
Animals aren’t allowed that thought
and believe me, if they were, they would use it.
There’d be a lot of dogs and cats, owned by assholes
that live in high-rises, diving out the windows.
Zebras… if they even had remotely that thought
would take a look at themselves and go, “What the FUCK!”
Black & white in a green & brown world… this blows.
I’m just gonna jump in the river….
I don’t have a thumb to work a gun or hold a knife
or even open a jar of pills.
I’m just gonna dive into the next lion’s mouth.
Why even bother?”
Now, monkeys have the opposable thumb
so they could kinda do it the exact same way we do.
Now, there’s a bunch of people that say,
“Oh, it’s against the law”.
Well, it’s only against the law if you do a crappy job and get caught.
Other people say, “Oh, we should save them”.
Yeah, well you know what?
Not everybody wants to be saved.
Not everybody should be saved.
And who are we to force our will upon them?
I mean, isn’t that one of the joys about being a human?
Freedom of choice?
Now, it’s not all bad.
Now, I’m not saying “Kill yourself”.
But if you’re gonna be an idiot and do it anyway,
it’s no sweat off of my back.
There’s a lot of good that could come from it.
A little bit of bad thrown in.

Some of the things:
A job will open…
An apartment will become available…
There’ll be more air for me…
They say there’s two girls for every guy – if you’re a man, there’ll be four chicks for me…
There’ll be more Ketel One vodka for me…
There’ll be one less idiot in line at the bank who gets up to the window without their F*#King slips filled out…
I won’t ever have to go to the store to buy my favorite Salt & Vinegar Chips
and have the clerk point at you and say, “They bought the last bag”….
You won’t help change the McDonald’s sign to a Hundred Billion Served…
You’ll never get AIDS…
You won’t have to worry about calories ever…
No more, “Hey, does this make me look fat?”…
There’ll be one less polluting human…
You won’t have to recycle… There’ll be one less car on the road…
There’ll be more Ring Dings for me…
Fifty or so chickens’ lives will be spared…
Your fingers won’t ever get red from eating pistachios…
You won’t be forced to visit your Grandparents on Sundays anymore…
No more church…
You’ll be saying, “Hey, World – Kiss My Ass!”…
No more wet dreams about Supermodels…
No more Barry Manilow… Not for a few years anyway…
Wondering “Am I a loser?” will be a thing of the past…
Say good-bye to crappy Xmas presents from Aunts and Uncles…
You won’t have to suffer through a Motley Crue reunion…
F*#K flossing and brushing…
You’ll never lose sleep over a pregnancy scare…
Adios, Acne…
Worrying whether you fit in or not won’t be on your brain…
See ya later, homework…
You’ll never have to sit through another movie brought to you by the creators of South Park…
School’s out forever….
No more paying bills…
You won’t have to do chores…

You won’t be able to run over toads with the lawnmower though…
You’ll also miss McDonald’s French Fries…
Bugs Bunny…
The amazing electrifying feeling that surges through your body when you kiss someone for the first time…
You won’t be able to watch the letterbox director’s cut of Jaws…
Candy…
Living above ground…
Pudding crust…
You’ll miss the rush of getting your first apartment…
Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to
“F*#K Off! I gotta make my own mistakes, you did”…
You’ll miss sex – you’ll miss thinking about it, looking for it,
sex by yourself, sex with a partner, sex with multiple partners…
No more summer nights that seem to go on forever… Roller coasters….
Naming your kid the name you always wanted…
Making a difference in the world…
You’ll miss the experience and pleasure of Hallucinogenics…
Watching your neighbor’s wife change clothes with her blinds open…
A lifetime of masturbating…
Watching your favorite team sweep the series…
Music, you will definitely miss music…
Trying to sneak into your house drunk – three hours past your curfew…
You’ll miss the blaze and glory of the 4th of July fireworks…
The taste of Captain Crunch…
If you’re a boy, you’ll miss the feeling the first time you reach up a girl’s shirt…
If you’re a girl, the feeling the first time you reach down a boy’s pants…
You’ll miss your favorite coat…
Waffles with whipped cream and strawberries…
Beating your friends at video games…
You won’t be around to see what shape and color the new marshmallow in Lucky Charms will be…
You’ll miss the feeling you get when reminiscing about your first love – thirty years after the fact…
The joy of giving and receiving at Christmas…
Skinny dipping…
Getting stoned, reading Green Eggs & Ham, and eating like a horse that got loose in the grain bin…
Flying cars…

Hey, you were born, finish what you started!

 
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Posted by on February 5, 2013 in Music, Random

 

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Quick Update!

Hey guys!
Sorry I’ve been so quiet. Just haven’t had much to say. I’ve been checking up on all of you though 🙂

I go back to varsity on Monday. And I’m really excited. I’ve been on holiday for almost 3 months and it’s just too much now. I find when I’m not keeping my mind busy it wonders too far. I get depressed, I get a bit manic. I drink and smoke or I punish myself at gym. I go out with some friends or I lock myself in my room with my lap top. So many ups and downs.

So it’s definitely time for me to get out there again, do something excited. It’s the final year of my BA. I have so much to look forward to.

I’ve been a bit hyper for a bit, haven’t been eating or sleeping well. And I only realized last night. I asked my doctor to lower my meds a bit, cause I was feeling so great. But I now I don’t think it’s so wise. I’m just watching myself very carefully.

Everything will be okay.

There’s been a few changes. I’ve lost a good friend due to my less than classy behaviour. But it’s ok, I feel strangely fine with it. I’m slowly weeding out all the poisonous people in my life.
Anybody who brings me down or makes me feel bad about myself… I say a very quick goodbye.

I’m still on this path of forgiveness. Forgiving myself and those who’ve hurt me. And anyone who wants to intentionally make me feel horrible…well they can just fuck right off 🙂

Well anyway, just a quick update.
Hope everyone is taking care of themselves.

Big hugs
Xxx

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2013 in Random

 

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Rejection

You know for someone like me…relatively pretty and relatively smart (sorry to blow my own horn here)…

 

I REALLY DO NOT HANDLE REJECTION WELL

 

Fuck.

That is all.

 

 
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Posted by on November 28, 2012 in Random, Relationships

 

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Liebster Nomination :)

I got nominated for a Liebster award by Merbear264 whose very interesting blog you can find here :http://knockedoverbyafeather.wordpress.com/ . I really appreciate it and think this whole thing is very cool. If I understand correctly you have to list 11 things about yourself, then ask 11 questions and nominate 11 other people who have less than 200 followers?

I think it’s really cool 🙂

So here are 11 things about myself:

1. I have a one year old baby girl, who is the light of my life. I had her at 19. It taught me a lot!

2. I love to write. Even though I’m studying psychology, I hope to be a writer someday

3. I live in sunny South Africa, we have some crazy politics, but it’s a beautiful country.

4. I would love to go to Pairs someday.

5. I love to read. I could devour 3 or 4 books at a time on my e-reader

6. When I retire, I hope to open up a joint bookstore and coffee shop where people can just read and be themselves 🙂

7. I only drink decaff coffee, and have about 6 cups a day!

8. I love biltong (which is beef jerkey for all you non SA’s out there, but here, it tastes amazing!)

9. I really don’t like cats that much

10. I am petrified of fish! It’s like a phobia

11. This blog keeps me sane

Okay, now to answer merbear’s questions 🙂

1. Fact or fiction? Fiction!!

2.What is your favorite animal and why? Koala bear, they just look so cute and cuddly

3. Do you think being rich would make you happy? I think it might, especially if I could share that money with other people. I live in a relatively impoverished nation.

4. Are you bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning, or grumpasauras rex? BIG TIME grumpassaruas!

5. What is your favorite dessert? I don’t really like sweet stuff!

6. What is your favorite thing about blogging? Getting my thoughts out of my head, and providing information on epilepsy and bi polar to some of my friends and other people who don’t understand it 100%

7. Do you like reality TV shows? NO NO NO. But I watch them in secret when I need to switch off my brain

8. If you could have lunch with one famous person, dead or alive, who would it be? Nelson Mandela

9. What is your favorite breakfast cereal? I don’t really eat breakfast, bad I know! But it would have to be cocoa pops

10. Do you believe that love is all we need? Not really, you can’t eat love, you can’t find shelter in love, love doesn’t send your kids to school. Based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, love is important, but we need to take care of our basic needs first.

11. Chocolate or vanilla? Possibly strawberry? I love vanilla!

Now for the blogs I nominate :

1. Australopith at http://australopith.wordpress.com/

2. Wynter’s Life at http://wynterslife.wordpress.com/

3. Zaarmeenk at http://zarmeenk.wordpress.com/

4. Raising 5 kids with Disabilities at http://5kidswdisabilities.com/

5. The Day After at http://lingeringvisions.wordpress.com/

6. Slightly Manic Mummy at http://slightlymanicmummy.wordpress.com/

7. Brain Cooties at http://braincooties.wordpress.com/

8. Cute. But Psycho at http://thecutebutpsychoblog.wordpress.com/

9. Ginzgg at http://ginzgg.wordpress.com/

10. Your Bipolar Girl at http://yourbipolargirl.wordpress.com/

11. Forcing myself Happy at http://forcingmyselfhappy.com/

Here are my questions :

1. Why do you blog?

2. Favorite colour?:

3. 3 things you love about yourself (don’t be shy!):

4. Favorite song:

5. Do you think voting is important?

6. What is your ultimate dream?:

7. Who was your first crush or infatuation?:

8. Would you rather be cremated or buried? (depressing I know, but death is inevitable!):

9. Do you have any children or do you want to have children someday?:

10. What is your secret talent?:

11. What is on your mind right now (the last thing you ate maybe?):

Okay cool! Here’s more info 🙂

There are 4 steps to receiving this award..

  1. List 11 things about yourself.
  2. Answer your nominator’s 11 questions.
  3. Choose up to 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers and ask them your own questions.
  4. Inform your nominees of their award nominations.

Have a good day everyone!! xxxx

 
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Posted by on November 14, 2012 in Random

 

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