Dear “Friend”

To my dearest “friend”:

I wish you knew how badly it hurt hearing of you betraying our 7 years of friendship. Of sharing all my secrets, fears and deepest regrets as a way to cause me harm.

I wish you knew how badly it hurt when you kicked me when I was down; when I was at the lowest point in my life. I wish you knew how terrible it felt when you tore me apart days after I had attempted to piece back my life, little by little.

I wish you knew how hurtful your words are, how cruel your judgment is and how mean, mean, mean you are. I wish you knew how I sobbed my heart out for days. I wish you could have seen me, could have known the pain your rejection and betrayal caused.

I wish you knew the extent of the damage you have done.

More than anything, I wish that I didn’t know, that in fact, you do know the hurt you have caused, and that you relish in causing me suffering. That is the one thing, out of everything, I wish I could get out of my head.